


Elec and Tornado's Taco Tuesday and Soup Wednesday: LOCKED AND LOADED!

by evilstheater



Category: Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: Crack, M/M, Yikes, i hate this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2020-09-28 10:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20424737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilstheater/pseuds/evilstheater
Summary: so i got an email from archive of our own saying if i didnt delete/edit the original fanfic as it violated copyright terms and was advertisement somehow, my account would be deleted. so here is not only the first fanfic, but its sequel, soup wednesday, archive of our own friendly. sorry to disappoint everyone with having to delete it but its mostly the same with words changed to make it so my account wont be deleted.





	1. Taco Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nacisse with lots of love](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nacisse+with+lots+of+love).

Today was Taco Tuesday in the Man household, and also the day where the white suburban family goes grocery shopping each week. Elec Man, wearing his signature joots and blouse under his robot armour, started up his fabulous white man car which was a nice shade of white. Tornado Man opened up Crash Man’s car door for him, and put him in his signature Baby Seat. As they drove, they past by a Generic Fast Food Spot.

“Dad, can we eat at the Generic Fast Food Spot?” Crash Man asks.

“Crash Hyadain Man! We have food at home. Also stop bouncing your legs on the seat!” Elec Man yelled at their son, who then threatened to blow up the car.

They got to Wilymart safely, and after putting Crash Man in the cart, they begun their weekly shopping.

“Babe, look at this shampoo,” Tornado Man told his sexy husband Elec Man. Elec Man gasped and picked up the Amazing Value Lavender Scented shampoo. 

“Wow, it’s so swaggy,” he says while he puts it in the cart. On the way they buy Crash Man a lego set so he shuts up. They pick up their ingredients for Taco Tuesday up, which consist of: Amazing Value beef, hard taco shells, shredded American cheese, and mayonnaise. They decide to pick up some chocolate milk too for their child Crash Man, because he’s epic. Elec Man picks up some wine that he sees that is on sale. At the check out section, they converse with another human.

“Oh my god, is that Rich Brand of Clothing that only the 1% can afford?” Tornado Man asks the human woman.

“Yeah! I have a totaallly nice job that allows me to buy that rich brand of clothing that only the 1% can afford regularly. Do you want a business card?” she replies.

“Sure!”

The woman hands him a business card to Consumable Interior. The lady’s name was Alison Willyman.

“Wow, Consumable Interior! My husband watches so much of your stuff!” Tornado Man exclaims. Elec Man starts to freak out.

“OMG is that Alison Willyman! I LOVE YOUR (UNNAMED VIDEO AS HOST OF WRITING SITE THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING THIS ON WILL DELETE MY ACCOUNT IF I NAME IT) VIDEO!” Elec Man screams. Crash man thinks Consumable Interior is stupid. Elec Man is fangirling very hard and is very happy to meet his idol. Alison Willyman gifts him one of her golden chocolates she keeps on hand. They walk out of Wilymart contently.

They drive past Generic Fast Food Spot again and Crash Man screams. They pull over and get him one Generic Clown Burger so he does not blow up the car.

The happy family pulls up back to their 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house, where they put away all the groceries and Elec Man starts making tacos. He calls everyone to dinner. The beef is half cooked, the cheese not melted, and his “taco sauce” is mayonnaise. Regardless of this, it is the best food they will ever eat in their sad lives. Crash watches Disgusting Cop Dogs: The Kidz Show while he plays with his baby chicks that Elec Man bought him. He begs his parents to buy him more Battle Royale Video Game Currency, but they say no. He cries himself to sleep while listening to Drifting by 4 Non Blondes. (im not editing this out)

“Why does our son hate us?” asks Elec Man.

“Drifting,” Tornado Man says.

Elec Man and Tornado Man share a glass of wine before going to bed. They snuggle up close and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Tomorrow is Soup Wednesday, where Elec Man will make gourmet Soup Brand soup. Life is good.


	2. Soup Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yummy soup

It has been Taco Tuesday for 3 months, as the writer got extremely depressed and tired of life so they put off on the sequel and in general very busy with life. But now the writer is fucking livid that they have to deal with this shit so he decides to finally let it be Soup Wednesday. Tornado Man and Elec Man have not noticed, as they are a part of the simulation that is life. Crash Man thinks something is up when he has to eat barely cooked beef on white bread every single day, but doesn’t question it, and stays a sheeple. Life does not matter when he can relive each day playing Popular Battle Royale Game. 

Elec Man calls out to his loving husband, Tornado man! Today is a great day. Today they are going to get the materials for the next exciting day of the week, Soup Wednesday! 

“Hey sexy,” Elec Man flirts. He slaps Tornado Man’s ass. Speaking of ass, Elec Man decided to wear fuzzy pink boots with assless chaps today.

“Hey there sweet cheaks. Are we ready to go?” Tornado man grins sexily.

“Yeah babby. I just need to put on my makeup.” Elec Man heads to the bathroom, where he smathers foundation and lipstick all over himself. It gets all over his mask and he now looks like Joker about to rise up and smoke some gang weed. He grins like he is about to say he lives in a society.

“Ok babe lets go.” Elec Man says, grabbing his husbands hand. Crash Man is already waiting in the car, seatbelt strapped to him. He is playing on his Handheld Gaming Device. He is very happy and hasn’t threatened to kill someone since Taco Tuesday, which was yesterday. Elec Man gets in his car and starts up his very white suburban mom car.

“Ok babe since we got banned from going into Wilymart I know where we are going to get ingridents for soup wednesday today. You’re gonna love it!” He laughs. Tornado Man doesn’t really care since they’re robots and eating isnt important anyway. He just likes feeling like he has a home.

Elec man drives them to wilymart, but parks behind the building. He is by their giant garbage can.

“Ok here we are! We are going to dig through the trash because they might have soup in there.”

Tornado Man thinks this is questionable, but he doesn’t really care. He’ll do anything his babby wants him to do. They both rummage through the trash together and not only find some barely expired chicken noodle soup, but they meet Alison Willyman again!

“Omg hi! I’m still such a big fan. What are you doing in the trash?” Elec Man smiles at the female.

“Oh, ever since (name of site you are reading fanfic from right now) said I wasn’t allowed to say the name of my epic videos I’ve lost so many subscriber. It’s really cringe.” she groaned, eating an expiried apple that was laying in the bargbage for weeks.

“Omg I am so sorry. It’s so sad that this site wont do anything about all of the rape and incestual content and the blatant lgbt fetishization but they’ll take you down if you say your youtube channel. Im so sorry. Please come live with us so you dont live in the trash can. You are stinky.” Elec man sobs.

“Ok! Also I have more garbage food if you would like it for your sup.”

“:D”

All four of them have a fun day rummaging through the garbage, except crash man because he doesnt have hands. He continues to play on his handheld gaming entertainment device playing the For the Frog the Bells Toll remake that will happen come the fuck on nintendo.

They head back home, but they stop at the Generic Fast Food Place to get Crash Man a Clown Burger because he threatened homicide if they dont comply.

When they arrive home, Elec man immediately starts working on the soup. He pours the Generic Soup Company soup in a can into a pot and puts in the random vegetables Allison Willyman found in the garbage. It tastes awful to all of them, but they dont care because theyre all robots besides Allison Willyman. She doesn’t have tastebuds so its okay. Tonight Crash Man listens to Drifting 4 Non Blondes again but as a lullaby. As a reminder of the grim world we live in. Allison Willyman sleeps on the courch, and Elec and Tornado fall asleep in eachothers arms.

Tomorrow, if the universe allows it, it will be Pizza Friday. And Crash Man loves pizza friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, really sorry for having to delete the original fanfic. it pisses me off a lot especially when theres some genuinely nasty shit on this site. it be like that i guess!


	3. Pizza Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooooo aaaaaa monkey hypnosis

Pizza Fridays, relatively speaking, are impossible to fuck up. Like, how do you fuck up ordering from Mama Mia Pizzaria? Like, how do you fuck that up? You’re just ordering a pizza.

That’s what Elec Man thought.

The Man household had grown in size since the last time I wrote this chapter, due to Covid-19 making everyone homeless and shit because there was no jobs and landlords are disgusting and evil so they evict people. Luckily for Elec Man, his daddy is a rich little cunt and he owns a house instead of renting. But how could he say no to picking up a homeless person to live with him?

Elec Man always had the dream of having a full house, a full little home with his husband, his kid, Allison Willyman, and someone else. It was perfect: a little nuclear household. Elec Man liked that, because he was a tradwife who watched Ben Shapiro. Stupid dumbass.

Anyway, the time was nearing 5pm. Everyone in the house was coming around to the kitchen, anticipating Pizza Friday.

They loved pizza.

They needed pizza to survive.

Their lives were hopeless without pizza.

“Soooo babe, when are you gonna order that damn thing?” said Angel Dust, who I didn’t say was the homeless person he took in until now. 

“Right now, jeez. Aren’t you supposed to be doing heroin or something?” Elec Man responded, his ass cheeks clapping as he talked.

“OK Fair,” Angel Dust fucked off and proceeded to snort cocaine while Crash Masn wasn’t looking. Speaking of Crash Man, he got tired of Battle Royale Game and decided to play something else for once. Something that grabbed the attention of the masses: Falling Dudes. He was hungry, hungry for pizza, but he didn’t really care at the moment. 

Crash Man stopped having emotions since the pandemic. He holed himself up in his room and Elec Man found him listening to some shit about Blood Red Blood and Spencer Krug. He’d have to take Crash Man to a therapist, because he had fucking mental problems apparently.

Oh shit, the pizza. He headed back to the kitchen and picked up his iPhone 5c, and dialed up their local pizza place.

“Buongiorno… this is, Mama Mia, Pizzeria. What kind of pizza you want?”

“Oh, hello! U’mmm…. (A/N: I’m listening to Panic! really loud right now and it’s kind of putting my brain waves in a different dimension sorry if the rest of this fic is bad) I’d like, two pizzas…”

“Yeahh!”

“Umm, no cheese, no sauce,  **NO VEGETABLES.** ”

“You know your order reminds me of someone else that called the other day. Are you using a voice changer?”

“What? No. Anyway, just make two of those shits. We’re mad hungry. Extra double. Make sure them shits  **BONELESS.** ”

Just as he said that, Tornado Man walked in the room and slapped Elec Man’s ass so loud it could be heard all the way from the UK, but no one cares about the UK.

“Yeah, okay! That’ll be 14.54. Anything else?”

Elec Man paused. No. This isn’t how things go. The seams of the universe were falling apart, and Elec Man was the one to tend to it. Nothing was making sense. Did he never even think about how every day was Thursday for a whole god damn year? Did he never question where the fuck Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel came from?

“Sir?”

Perhaps the world did end in 20XX, and they were just living in Hell. Elec Man knew too much.

“...No, it’s fine. I’ll pay with cash. Delivery. See you then.”

Elec Man sat outside, on the stairs of his porch. Outside, Allison Willyman was tending to the dandelions. He noticed her aura was different, too.

“You figured it out too?” she asked, unprompted.

“...Yeah,” he said.

They didn’t say a word, but they knew. They knew everything. He continued to wait outside until a delightful woman named Wilson delivered their pizza, and he brought it inside for the family to eat. Even then, his stomach churned at each bite. He couldn’t take it.

No one wondered why Elec Man was asking weird. He turned down sex for the night, despite Tornado Man’s massive dick, he didn’t play with Crash Man, he didn’t drink with Angel Dust. Instead, he stared at the ceiling, wondering if the life he built was fake.

Tomorrow is Soybean Saturday.

He hates Soybeans.

**Author's Note:**

> i love archive of our own archive of our own is great and has no flaws whatsoever i love archive of our own so much it is such a good site with competent staff who tell you what is wrong and has no flaws whatsoever! i love archive of our own and i couldnt imagine there ever being flaws with this site. i love consuming things at face value and not being allowed to criticize things!


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